tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post753269866149019922..comments2024-03-18T20:22:06.331-04:00Comments on GROGNARDIA: Open Friday: "Ridiculous" CharactersJames Maliszewskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00341941102398271464noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-2018383118324238712011-04-02T21:47:15.984-04:002011-04-02T21:47:15.984-04:00I like the food processor, Jared. Did it have any ...I like the food processor, Jared. Did it have <i>any</i> attacks?<br /><br />Brian, my "flamboyantly neutered" character was straight out of Arabian Nights central casting - fat, eye make up, a lot of gauzy layers of shirt, and pantaloons. He used the poncy manner to hide the fact that he was absolutely deadly in close combat (unless you had no arms - he was a wrestler). <br /><br />He was, of course, a harem guard before taking up his adventuring life. So a hit with the ladies, too (not that it was any use to him...)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-36019938007759726362011-04-02T11:46:13.111-04:002011-04-02T11:46:13.111-04:00I'm intrigued, Faustus. What did "flamboy...I'm intrigued, Faustus. What did "flamboyantly neutered" look like?<br /><br />Jared, I love the necromancer who animates his ancestors. I'm going to steal that one.Brian MacKenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12752842049666489041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-86700514831335968992011-04-02T04:01:11.179-04:002011-04-02T04:01:11.179-04:00I'm afraid all my characters wind up ridiculou...I'm afraid all my characters wind up ridiculous. It must be some sort of radiation.<br /><br />Orble Littlefang (e.g. Horrible Little Thing): Half-Orc foundling raised by clerics. Wise, ugly, strong, terrible temper.. used a table leg as his weapon of choice.<br /><br />Set marKesh: 374th in the line of the marKesh family. Also, a necromancer. With the shtick that all of his undead were the previous 374 generations of marKesh family members...<br /><br />There are quite a few others, I'm afraid. I once played a food processor in a Star Wars game. That might be the low point.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-62714642301979809192011-04-02T01:39:26.351-04:002011-04-02T01:39:26.351-04:00Brian, your gay zorro reminds me that once I playe...Brian, your gay zorro reminds me that once I played a single adventure of that Gygax spin off (was it Fantastic Journeys? I can't even remember the name) in which my character was a eunuch monk. He was absolutely deadly, and flamboyantly neutered.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-26910369798467685692011-04-02T01:23:27.782-04:002011-04-02T01:23:27.782-04:00Sir Francis the Pink, a flamboyant swashbuckling N...Sir Francis the Pink, a flamboyant swashbuckling NPC pirate inspired by Zorro: The Gay Blade, the Erol Otus PC in the Rogues Gallery, and the original logo of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (winking, with a pimp hat and a dagger in his teeth).<br /><br />When the party first saw him in a tavern, Francis was minding his own business, but one PC--Thorkon, a half-orc warrior--challenged the pirate to a duel, motivated by simple homophobia. Thorkon was a battle-axe wielding brute with 18/something strength, but Francis swiftly cut the half-orc into ribbons with a two-fisted cutlass and dirk routine, fueled by his 18 dexterity. The party's cleric managed to save Thorkon's life, but the half-orc's dignity suffered irreparable damage.<br /><br />Of course, I couldn't resist bringing Francis back into the campaign. On a subsequent seagoing adventure, the party's vessel encountered the pirate's fleet of seven pink-sailed ships. The PCs carried the day, sinking six vessels and forcing Francis to flee in his flagship.<br /><br />However, that night, Francis returned to mount a devastating counterattack: his flagship rammed the party's anchored ship, boarded it, and perpetrated a TPK. The party's watchmen didn't see it coming, because the pirate flagship was sailing without light under Silence spells, piloted by the captain's half-elf fighter/mage lover, who then cast Haste upon Sir Francis and the rest of the flagship's best fighters. The battle claimed the half-elf's life, making it a Pyrrhic victory for Sir Francis.<br /><br />I don't generally delight in TPKs, but this was my finest strategic moment as a DM: taking the remnants of a force the PCs had just defeated and then besting them with it.<br /><br />My players have never forgiven me. Twenty years later, they still yearn for a chance to kill the legendary pirate.<br /><br />I've also used joke names occasionally for otherwise serious NPCs: <br /><br />A double-classed monk/mage named Hu Wen Hao.<br /><br />A belligerent Celtic pubcrawler named Hamish McHaggis.Brian MacKenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12752842049666489041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-6399517907272265872011-04-02T01:09:44.219-04:002011-04-02T01:09:44.219-04:00Thadeus, a Malkavian Vampire played in a WoD game....Thadeus, a Malkavian Vampire played in a WoD game. A Vampire who thought he was a Civil War sniper who was an anachronist to the point that modern technology would fail when he got near or he might frenzy b/c it clashed with his derangement. <br /><br />Ended up using the character for an entire school year. By the end he had the insane ghost of Abraham Lincoln as his spirit mentor and it was proved that he was turned into a vampire during the civil war.Jason kielbasahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13953768189103378338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-8980172432176495282011-04-02T01:07:55.653-04:002011-04-02T01:07:55.653-04:00As I am going to post in my second A-Z blog post t...As I am going to post in my second A-Z blog post today....<br /><br />I ran a Drow in a friend's campaign, named Cevek (which I pronounced as suh-VEEK). He wasn't very good with common, so he pronounced everything phonetically. He ended up sounding like an escapee from Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. He annoyed the rest of the party to the point where they just started calling him Honda (figure it out ;).The Badger Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09020950272210873449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-51784392747245864942011-04-02T00:04:04.597-04:002011-04-02T00:04:04.597-04:00I'm late to this, but here is my most ridiculo...I'm late to this, but <a href="http://faustusnotes.wordpress.com/2009/02/04/%E7%A7%8B%E6%9C%88%E9%9B%AA%E5%AD%90%EF%BC%9Aintroducing-yukiko-akizuki/" rel="nofollow">here is my most ridiculous character</a>, Yukiko Akizuki, a schoolgirl Yamanba Shinto priestess I played in Feng Shui. <br /><br />Feng Shui is a shit system but that campaign really brought out the imaginative best of all of the players.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-10423928288499797482011-04-01T23:37:35.773-04:002011-04-01T23:37:35.773-04:00Dildo Baggins' nickname should be "Tea&qu...Dildo Baggins' nickname should be "Tea".https://www.blogger.com/profile/14398295844409607075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-41235104066699499942011-04-01T23:22:49.646-04:002011-04-01T23:22:49.646-04:00Someone made a gay hobbit named Dildo Baggins in a...Someone made a gay hobbit named Dildo Baggins in an AD&D game I was running. Complete with animated gif.Bradhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06596247660364673313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-55789765219117765572011-04-01T22:47:15.281-04:002011-04-01T22:47:15.281-04:00Well, I once had a dwarf based on Yosemite Sam.Well, I once had a dwarf based on Yosemite Sam.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11446889385501600300noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-39727355807835952622011-04-01T22:26:37.047-04:002011-04-01T22:26:37.047-04:00In a Vampire - The Masquerade, I had an NPC human ...In a Vampire - The Masquerade, I had an NPC human named 'Kowalski' who was a taxi driver. Kowalski was a stereotypical Brooklyner (although the game was set in Washington DC).<br /><br />Whenever the PCs took a cab, regardless of the situation, it was always Kowalski who picked them up. He also spoke in stereotypical catch phrases ('youse guys', 'fuggitaboudit', 'buncha mooks') and complained about the tip ('buncha cheepskates').<br /><br />Eventually, the PCs started using their vampiric powers... not to dominate Kowalski, but to rob a bank of 1 million dollars in which to tip Kowalski.<br /><br />His response: "Nice tip... buncha cheapskates."<br /><br />Clearly the most illogical character I've ever incorporated into a game. <br /><br />Several years later, I ran a Trek game and had a helmsman based identially off of Kowalski (except I changed his name to 'Sparks').<br /><br />What was I thinking?Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08863118245243138750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-84293219862589675832011-04-01T20:18:36.287-04:002011-04-01T20:18:36.287-04:00We all must have had a "Conan the Librarian&q...We all must have had a "Conan the Librarian". Ours was in charge of the archives of the local Magic Users guild. Things got ugly when one of our party borrowed something but couldn't get it back on time <br /><br />Party member - "Conan the Librarian, I beg your forgiveness! This tome is 3 days overdue". <br /><br />DM as Conan, leaps from his chair and in his best "Arnie" voice, "Eat cold steel scum!". <br /><br />Needless say, the party brawling with their librarian was not the best way to ingratiate ourselves with the local MU guild.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-17469422464016207502011-04-01T19:34:17.178-04:002011-04-01T19:34:17.178-04:00The Mighty Thanatos: an aging, punch drunk gladiat...The Mighty Thanatos: an aging, punch drunk gladiator in an all to brief Xena & Hercules game. He carried no weapons and wore only the tiniest of tiny loincloths. He could barely remember how to speak - the only words anyone ever heard him say were "I am the Mighty Thanatos!" in an outrageous Arnie-esque Austrian accent.<br /><br />He didn't even deign to carry weapons: he would simply pick up some random mook by the ankles and swing him around like a club. He was originally played for laughs but came to be something of a tragic figure when the other characters finally figured out that he really was a simple, gentle soul, who truly could not figure out why people always seemed to want to hurt him. The mini-campaign ended up changing direction altogether when the other players worked out he had been cursed by his father Ares for being a bit of a wimp. In the end, Thanatos died before the curse could be lifted, but not before he found the simple pleasures of finger painting and paddling in puddles.<br /><br />He was, you might have guessed, rather strongly based on a certain character from the Goonies.Dangerous Brianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11494853825931603065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-15828469600374470712011-04-01T19:17:34.211-04:002011-04-01T19:17:34.211-04:00Hard to decide, as I've always had an attracti...Hard to decide, as I've always had an attraction to the outre. However the latest one was <a href="http://reverancepavane.livejournal.com/123618.html" rel="nofollow">Squeek</a>, a monkeysquid that was a powerful magician (in <i>Swashbucklers of the 7 Seas</i>). Surprisingly workable and fun character.<br /><br />Although my favourite would have to be Fred and Ernie. A rather friendly two-headed Dragonsnail who constantly argued with itself and could only breathe fire by accident (or when made to giggle). A surprisingly likeable (and rather lonely) Chaos monstrosity. [<i>Runequest</i>]<br /><br />Sometimes the outre characters worked (in context of the overall game); other times they didn't, in which case I soon retired them (usually well before the GM requested that I do so, which is how I got to keep trying strange juxtapositions of characters).Reverance Pavanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01217657347160811310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-18103594930746359322011-04-01T17:19:37.353-04:002011-04-01T17:19:37.353-04:00Anthony:
My pig-riding midget was *sorta* aligned...Anthony:<br /><br />My pig-riding midget was *sorta* aligned with Chaos. He worshipped the previously mentioned Balo and embraced his vision of combining Law and Chaos to create Paradox. The GM didn't like that either.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14398295844409607075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-51906542801519953872011-04-01T17:17:56.109-04:002011-04-01T17:17:56.109-04:00The A-Team: three warriors and my dwarf: they were...The A-Team: three warriors and my dwarf: they were totally badass, and I had the pleasure to be B.A. Baracus, a black dwarf with a mohawk, wearing a chainmail overall and a big number of necklaces made of ears picked from dead enemies.<br />Oh, he was very afraid of ride on a chariot, since there were no planes...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-26170393870272867572011-04-01T17:07:09.016-04:002011-04-01T17:07:09.016-04:00"What is best in life? To shush the noisy, to..."What is best in life? To shush the noisy, to see them driving home, and to hear the silence of the library."--toddroe<br /><br />That's brilliant! I read it to my wife and now she wants to run a barbarian librarian.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14398295844409607075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-27043806098185421012011-04-01T16:09:27.817-04:002011-04-01T16:09:27.817-04:00Haven't see Boot Hill mentioned here yet - but...Haven't see Boot Hill mentioned here yet - but Dettlinger was the coward to end all cowards. He fought the Gunfight in the OK Corral's Outhouse and once, when an NPC asked "You a man or a yeller-bellied SOB?" fell to the ground barking and complaining that someone had painted his belly yellow...The Wordmongerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05812866827808902568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-25262448840100569162011-04-01T16:06:47.567-04:002011-04-01T16:06:47.567-04:00@ Ed Dove:
That's a shame: You're charact...@ Ed Dove:<br /><br />That's a shame: You're character was perfect for the Stormbringer world, especially if he was aligned with Chaos.Anthonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01254215329246851683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-50289351452410622942011-04-01T16:00:29.312-04:002011-04-01T16:00:29.312-04:00The 200+ year old character in Ringworld. Because ...The 200+ year old character in Ringworld. Because the rest of the players had rolled more in line with the expected curve of characters, the GM felt this guy would dominate. So he was suffering from PTSD from the Man-Kzin wars and couldn't remember most of his past or skills. In a crisis, or at random (I had to remind the GM at regular intervals to let me throw D% so he could check his own random effects table), things would come back to him. Sometimes useful, sometimes not.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-66519065619996030222011-04-01T15:58:33.358-04:002011-04-01T15:58:33.358-04:00I played as Sancho, a mutated, bipedal, talking ho...I played as Sancho, a mutated, bipedal, talking horned-toad wannabe-scholar in a campaign of Metamorphosis Alpha. Whenever he really needed to put thought into something, he put on his "thinking cap", a sombrero discovered in a corner of the ship. What other purpose could it serve?Coldstreamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16140235342917611032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-51168819074100425702011-04-01T15:57:22.636-04:002011-04-01T15:57:22.636-04:00For the one session of a Stormbringer game that I ...For the one session of a Stormbringer game that I ever played in, I created a character who had the lowest possible Size rating. So, a midget. And I wanted him to have a mount to ride, but even the donkeys and ponies available were too big for him. So he bought an animal that was not only smaller than a donkey or pony, but also smarter and cheaper too. A pig. But the GM so couldn't stand the idea of a midget riding a pig around in his oh-so-serious Stormbringer game that he decided there just happened to be a powerful sorcerer around who took a hating to him and killed him -- and his pig too.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14398295844409607075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-3502453260978628832011-04-01T15:29:40.100-04:002011-04-01T15:29:40.100-04:00Elvish, the 12th level Elven Minstrel, King of Roc...Elvish, the 12th level Elven Minstrel, King of Rock n' Roll, and hunk-a, hunk-a burnin' love. He was a bard/Elvis impersonator who preferred sequined jumpsuits over armor and always wore a pair of stylish shades. He was my ridiculous, though still quite effective, character during the latter days of D&D 2nd edition.<br /><br />You can see Elvish's character sheet and illustration here:<br />http://rpggeek.com/image/940189/personal-character-shrineTonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04006976826851198428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7487871339000666216.post-83759424907957856202011-04-01T15:01:17.412-04:002011-04-01T15:01:17.412-04:00Joke in real life/dead serious within the context ...Joke in real life/dead serious within the context of the game describes most of my characters really. Off the top of my head, there's...<br />- My half-orc paladin princess (whose claim to the throne is somewhat hampered by the absent King's regents cover-up of his secret "husky and tusky" fetish).<br />- The wandering monk who believed they had committed the greatest sin imaginable by spilling a glass of wine in what was actually a low key ritual whose main purpose was letting everyone see toddlers in cute outfits bringing things to a priest, leading to a lifetime of searching for new forms of atonement.<br />- Princeton Whimplethorpe, the scrawny fair-haired promising acting student who spontaneously became a (Shadowrun) troll in his late teens, ruining his career.<br />-I was once in a campaign where everyone was using a random fantasy name generator which, immediately after I declared I was making an aquatic elf, spit out "Navy" and "Blue." The fact that I was making an aquatic elf for a landlocked campaign is probably worth noting as well.Googleshnghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17011657325177988880noreply@blogger.com