Friday, November 7, 2025

Addicted to Dreams

I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to suggest that most of us who play or referee roleplaying games are readers first. Before we ever picked up polyhedral dice or scribbled on a character sheet, we had bookspaperbacks with cracked spines and lurid covers, library copies borrowed and re-borrowed, pages filled with strange names, lost cities, and impossible creatures. It was through those stories that many of us first discovered the wonder of other worlds. I know I did. Long before I ever rolled a saving throw, I’d already learned what it meant to lose myself in another place, to be consumed by imagination, to live elsewhere, if only for a time.

That hunger – to be elsewhere – never really fades. It lingers in the back of the mind, calling us to dream again. It’s what drives writers to put pen to paper and referees to sketch maps or invent pantheons. It’s an act of creation born, at least in part, from dissatisfaction with the ordinary. In a way, it’s a quiet rebellion against the everyday, the only kind of rebellion a stick in the mud like me is capable of. The schoolyard and the shopping mall are all well and good, but they pale beside Moria or Melniboné. The imagination whispers, “There are other worlds than these,” and, once you’ve heard that whisper, it’s impossible not to believe it.

When I first discovered roleplaying games, what drew me in (though I couldn’t have articulated it at the time) was their invitation to take that same imaginative impulse, the one that led me to daydream in church or stare at the horizon as if something wondrous might appear and share it. Writing, for all its pleasures, is solitary, even lonely. It’s a private communion between the writer and the page. But RPGs opened the door to something altogether different, a kind of collaborative dreaming. Around the table, the game became a campfire and we were the storytellers gathered in its glow, shaping a dream together, speaking it aloud so that others could live in it too.

That’s the real magic of roleplaying. I hesitate to say that, because it can sound sentimental or pretentious, but it’s true nonetheless. Roleplaying lets us touch the same creative fire that first called us to stories: the power to imagine not just what is, but what could be. In that moment, we become co-authors of our own mythologies. The settings we build, the characters we play, even the dice we roll are all tools for bending reality toward something richer, stranger, and truer to that inner sense of wonder that first made us turn a page.

Maybe that’s the answer to the question I asked myself yesterday. Why did stuck with RPGs for all these decades when most of my childhood friends did not? I don’t keep playing out of nostalgia or habit. I keep playing because, even now, I’m still addicted to dreams. Roleplaying games give that addiction shape and fellowship. They remind me that imagination isn’t a childish escape, but one of the most human acts of all. It’s our ability to make meaning, to build worlds, to see beyond what’s immediately before us and, in doing so, to bring a little of those other worlds back with us.

In the end, that’s what the best games and the best stories both do. They invite us to live for a while in another world and then return to this one with new eyes, eyes that still, even after all these years, look to the horizon and wonder what might lie beyond.

14 comments:

  1. « I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to suggest that most of us who play or referee roleplaying games are readers first »

    Most, maybe. But perhaps not bu as long a stretch as you seem to imply.

    Of my gaming group of 4, I am the only one that reads more than 1 or 2 books a year. Most of my gaming friends have been playing D&D for twenty years without the litterature references that the hobby is built upon. I am convinced that our group is not an outlier.

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    1. This may be an effect related to when you started playing. IME, many players and almost all DMs were fantasy/science fiction readers back in the day. Fewer people read books nowadays.

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    2. I'm not sure that's as much of a generational thing as Corathon is citing, I started roleplaying in the 70s and have always been the heaviest reader in my various groups, albeit rarely the only one.

      I am sure that readers often tend to select other readers as part of their friend circle, although that's shifted more noticeably over the decades. There's simply a lot more options in terms of what types of media to consume these days, as well as more of it overall. You could see that happening even in the 80s as cable TV spread - suddenly not everyone was watching the same 3.5 broadcast stations, and the universality of any given program was vastly diminished. Add the internet, VHS/DVD/streaming, and all manner of PC/console/portable games and it's no surprise that reading (even done on the cheap as e-books or online archives) is less prevalent. Too much competition, too many distractions.

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  2. I am surely not the only person who has noticed that many of your recent posts have contained a much more—dare I say it?—Proustian lyricism.

    Many of your recent essays have struck me as much more personal and heartfelt, and I wanted to state for the record that I both admire and enjoy these more emotive posts. I do not think that your writing style is treacly or overeffusive, but I appreciate honest sentiment.

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    1. Thanks. I appreciate that. For a variety of reasons, I've been in a much more self-reflective mode. Expect a few more posts like this in the days to come.

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  3. Another truthful , thoughtful post that you can only get at Grognardia. The hot streak continues!

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  4. I just got around to reading the L. Sprague de Camp-edited collection The Spell of Seven. Much of his foreword would be right at home in the foreword or back-cover blurb of any fantasy RPG:

    How would you like to escape to a world of wizards and warlocks, warriors and wenches—a world where gleaming cities raise their shining spires against the stars, sorcerers cast sinister spells from subterranean lairs, baleful spirits stalk through crumbling ruins, primeval monsters crash through jungle thickets, and the fate of kingdoms is balanced on the bloody blades of broadswords brandished by heroes of preternatural might and valor? A “purple and golden and crimson universe where anything can happen—except the tedious”?

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  5. That feeling you get, that sense of adventure. what's in the forest? What's over the hill? What's beyond the last house on the road? It's never left me. It's partly why I served in the Navy and later the Army Natl Guard, along with a strong sense of patriotism, is that sense of adventure. To see the world. Learn new things.

    Camping gives me that sense of wonderment and adventure as well. Outside my camper, sitting by the fire at sunset. Just looking out to the horizon, and wondering...what's out there.

    It's not hard for me to put myself in the mindset of how Mr. Baggins and a certain group of dwarves might have thought.

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  6. C. S. Lewis went so far as to write that all such things are the heart's longing after Heaven. He wrote, in fact, that he doubted if we ever desired anything else.

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    1. Combine that with Lewis' hunger metaphor (basically that hunger and want prove the reality of their respective objects: one cannot crave that which does not exist in some tangible form), and one could venture that The Game is cold hard evidence of the Divine Realm and its Community.

      In the Great Divorce, Lewis spins the tale of a bus that transports people from a gray, industrial Hell to the outer pleasant border meadow of Heaven. They get off the bus, look around, and most of them opt to get on the bus to return to mundane, insubstantial Hell. In effect, the grass of Heaven is just a little too "grassy."

      I think I read that book in 1990 or so. For some reason, I've associated it with those who fell away from the Game ever since.

      As Lewis put it on another occasion:

      "...My friend Professor Tolkien asked me the very simple question, ‘What class of men would you expect to be most preoccupied with, and most hostile to, the idea of escape?’"

      The obvious answer was "jailors." This defense of escapism in a tangential way underscores your musing: too often we quibble over what, exactly we are escaping _from_, but no one really ever talks about what we might be escaping _to_.

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  7. There are places in the world, to paraphrase Mr. Baggins, that have this effect on you. I used to bicycle to work, and there was a shortcut that avoided the main roads by going around a curved road, behind a hospital, and into a valley (Fashion Valley for those of you familiar with San Diego). The valley was hidden from view until the final curve around the hospital’s parking structure. For the decade-and-a-half I worked there using that route, I never lost the sense of wonder coming out of this cramped, wooded hillside onto a wide open view of the valley, the ocean, and the next hillside beyond (where the University I worked at was).

    On mornings with mist, or when storm clouds lingered after a storm, the effect was only more pronounced.

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    1. Beautiful. Sounds like you cycled through what the Irish might call a "thin place."

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