Monday, July 28, 2025

In Defense of Bob

His name wasn’t really Bob, but I’m calling him that for the purposes of this post, on the extremely unlikely chance that he’s still out there somewhere. It’s been decades and I doubt he’d even remember me. Still, I don’t want to be cruel; there's already plenty of that online. Moreover, that's not my purpose here.

Bob was a teenager I’d see from time to time at hobby stores and at game days at the local libraries in the early 1980s. Like many of us back then, Bob was awkward, intense, and very passionate about the things he loved. For him, one of those things was World War II.

In those days, this was hardly unusual. I’m not sure people younger than a certain age realize just how omnipresent World War II still was in the cultural imagination of the time, even though it had ended more than three decades beforehand. This was especially so in the years after Vietnam, when America seemed unsure of what to make of its recent history, World War II stood apart. According to its conventional presentation, it was “the Good War,” the one where we knew who the bad guys were. Toy aisles were filled with green army men and gray tanks. TV reruns still showed Combat! and Rat Patrol. There were countless paperbacks, comics, movies, documentaries, and model kits. Nearly everyone had at least one older relative or neighbor who’d been “over there.”

So, Bob’s obsession wasn’t strange, not in context. What was unusual, even among kids interested in World War II, was the depth of his knowledge. Bob didn’t just know the basics. He could name operations and battles most people had never heard of. He knew the names of generals and details about their lives. He could tell you how a Panther tank compared to a Sherman and why Rommel’s tactics in North Africa were studied in military academies around the world. He was, for a teenager, astonishingly well-informed. 

Bob was also socially tone-deaf. He didn’t always know when to stop talking, particularly when the subject was German armor or the Eastern Front. Even back then, people would roll their eyes when Bob launched into another lecture about Stalingrad. Mostly, though, we just let him do his thing. He was weird and so were we. More importantly, he played RPGs. That was enough.

Nowadays, I'm sure Bob would be viewed differently. People might hear him talk about German tanks or Guderian’s campaigns and jump to conclusions. They might assume he was some kind of Nazi sympathizer or apologist. That’s not how I remember him at all. Now, I didn’t know Bob well. I didn't have a window into his soul, but I never once got the impression he admired Hitler or fascism or anything like that. He was just a very nerdy teenager who’d gotten fixated on a complex and highly documented period of history. He liked the minutiae. If anything, he treated World War II the way other kids treated baseball, obsessively reciting rosters and statistics no one else cared about.

Bob was not a threat. He wasn’t trying to smuggle dangerous ideas into the games he played. He was just Bob – one of us. He was weird, annoying, and even brilliant in his own narrow way. I feel like it's important to point this out, not to excuse anyone, but to defend the idea that not every interest held by socially awkward people should be a moral test. Likewise, not every off-note conversation from forty years ago is a sign of hidden malice. We were all a little odd in those days; that’s probably what brought us together.

I bring all this up in light of last week's post about my recollections of how odd people of all stripes seem to get along in the hobby of my youth. Back then, the hobby felt – to me anyway – like a patchwork of eccentrics, whether they were metalheads, stoners, bookworms, would-be game designers, history buffs, or, yes, kids like Bob. We didn’t all get along. We didn’t all like the same things. Yet, we shared a love of imaginative play and we didn't care about much of anything else.

Was that everyone's experience back in the day? I highly doubt it, but I also doubt that the worst examples someone could dredge up from those times was typical either. I suspect the truth, as it so often is, lies somewhere in the middle. Judging from the arguments in the comments to last week's post, I suppose I was naive in thinking we could get back to just having fun with RPGs the way I used to as a kid.

I don’t know where Bob is now or what he became. Wherever he is, I hope he has a group of friends with whom he can roll some dice without being judged too harshly for his idiosyncrasies. He deserves that much.

So do we all.

61 comments:

  1. A lot of kids have a phase like that, in part because kids often aren't very good at grasping the human toll of things like wars.

    I think the problem for people like Bob is that, nowadays, he might fall in with *wrong'uns* on the Internet with superficially shared interests but different motivations.

    Back in the 80s a kid was unlikely to run into a peer with genuine Nazi sympathies so it was less likely that the kid's interest would fester into something unhealthy and lasting.

    Nowadays a kid can probably connect with a dozen such people just by posting a question about Rommel on X.

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    1. There are numerous WWII afficionados today, with the internet present, who don't become Nazis.

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    2. also, now adays, a simple interest in tank tactics gets you painted with certain brushes, and that in turn, makes the brushers suspect, and the "bad ideas" more attractive.

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    3. The actual Nazis became Nazis before knowledge of Nazi war strategy and tactics was even widely available. Clearly, it's not necessary to become a Nazi. I have yet to actually see any evidence of any connection whatsoever between knowledge of Germany's battle tactics in WWII and Nazism or racism.

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  2. Very well said and an astute angle at which to approach the topic.

    I knew Bobs. You describe the energy of being around Bob well. Bob relished any and all opportunities to share his knowledge. There was ego in that but also a sense of just wanting to share with others and perhaps find someone who shares his passion. Underneath the at times autistic like certainty with which Bob transmitted information there was a vulnerability, if you were keen enough to see, if you didn’t simply look away and roll your eyes when he started another of his spiels. An insecurity and a sense of needing to prove himself was present.

    If we look honestly enough, we may all see a bit of Bob in ourselves, with our own idiosyncratic nerdish obsessions.

    For me, I’ll always associate Bob with not only gaming stores but also Radio Shack.

    Good times and good memories. Thanks for the reminder!

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  3. Yeah, the comments on that one got... charged. Zoiks. I stayed away. :-)

    I agree with you, though. I just had one of my younger employees regale me at great length on the "lore" of Sonic the Hedgehog. A bit odd, but, hey, he's a good kid.

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  4. Holycrap!

    That last post's comment thread is a cesspool!

    Good luck with this one. 🤐

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  5. I had some bad experiences as a kid trying to play D&D with kids my own age. In fact I remember thinking "I love the idea of playing D&D, but I doubt it would ever really work." As an adult I've got a group that works well together, and we've had many fun campaigns. So things turned out well.

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  6. I think you're right that liking an unusual hobby united us back then, but I don't think there's such a thing as 'normal' anyway - everyone has their idiosyncracies. I remember the British comedian Ben Elton performing a stand-up routine on primetime BBC1 in the 1990s questioning why it's socially acceptable to be obsessed with a soccer team but not with D&D (I wish I could find a clip online).

    Regardless of particular interests, what I remember back then is how intelligent everyone involved in gaming seemed to be. It attracted bright, imaginative, creative, precocious kids. Perhaps the complexity of the rulesets drove that too. I don't think it's an accident that gaming took hold in universities. I can see it still when I look at letters pages and convention reports in old issues of Imagine or White Dwarf, or the comments sections (and articles, of course) of blogs like this one. We have a 'Bob' in our gaming group too, and he is in possession of a History degree and one of the brightest minds I know.

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    1. Very good point about intelligence. In my experience, from the 70s to the early 90s, nearly everyone involved with gaming seemed to be very intelligent. Not the case now. This may be due to the overall decrease in IQ of Americans over the last 30 years, especially fluid intelligence.

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  7. Many of us have eccentric traits. That does not worry me at all, unless, as you say, someone becomes insufferably socially inept, to the extent of not knowing when someone is no longer interested. I set myself a time limit to how long I will listen to someone talking about the technical details of a tank, or whatever. I might be interested but not THAT interested.
    Otherwise, I prefer someone obsessed with minutiae of German tanks to the narrow minded who have no time for ANYONE and who finds toy soldier collecting so weird as to be beyond the pale.
    Personally, I am good at reading people. However, I do not hesitate to tell people my interests, my politics and so on. I find it a kind of litmus test for a person's degree of mental flexibility. However, unless, I particularly want to annoy someone I'll stop and move on to another topic or walk away. but that is a choice I have.

    Some unfortunates don't know when to do the options I mentioned.

    James of Quantrill's Toy Soldiers

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  8. I’m very active in (historical) miniature wargaming. The Bobs are still around ;-)

    It’s also telling that gaming-at-large has become largely siloed and compartimentalized. In the 70s/80s/even 90s wargaming/roleplaying/boardgaming was still considered one big hobby (with a lot of crossovers), and one naturally came into contact with all sorts of people interested in various angles.

    These days roleplayers and wargamers and board gamers seem to be different breeds, barely knowing of each other hobbies.

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    1. I am starting to get wargame-curious, but one of the reasons I havent started playing is that it is HARD to find wargame players. I'm sure some brilliant game designer will come up with some new spin on the genre that generates a ton of buzz, but right now wargames seem pretty close to dead.

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  9. Problem is, the Venn diagram of Bobs, holocaust deniers, and neo-Nazis has an uncomfortably large amount of overlap.

    And I am basically a Bob! My vacation reading one summer in high school was a history of the battle of Stalingrad and Batman: A Killing Joke (I had some interesting nightmares that week). Right this minute John Keegan's history of WWII is sitting in my stack of upcoming books.

    I'm a history teacher and pretty much would just like the Bobs to gain some perspective and context. IMO two of the most irritating phrases in English are "I'm a [Civil War/WWII/Revolution/etc.] buff," and "I did my research."

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    1. Can you provide evidence for your claim that, "...the Venn diagram of Bobs, holocaust deniers, and neo-Nazis has an uncomfortably large amount of overlap." or is that merely anecdotal?

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    2. But the point is that literally all of the forbidden "identities", including the ones you mention, were once welcome at the tables, not because the table agreed or reinforced that identity, because the table was a gristmill - not an affirmation - for your personal identity. You HAD to set it aside in order to play the game - it is baked into the original rules! After all Bob's obsession could be a distraction at the table, but his focus on playing the game with others had to supersede whatever his special interest was.

      Temple Grandin very strongly advocates structured game playing for all children, especially those with autism or other special needs. She believes that the general culture of table top games in the 1950s and 1960s has been lost, and was critical to her social development. It taught taking turns, cooperation, structured competition, and imagination. There was no such thing as a "gamer" because everyone played board games at the very least, especially young people.

      It is very difficult to develop anti-social behavior when you a) have no concern about keeping your forbidden beliefs secret and b) had to participate in an adventure with people who were not like you in any other way. You at least have to temper your "wrong" enthusiasms while at the table, and may therefore make yourself vulnerable to reasonable persuasion.

      Random or narratively generated "backstories" in modern RPGs are a big contributor to the modern problem. Because you don't develop a PC's "background" through in-game accomplishments and experience and exploration, you instead disengage any creative generation in favor of coherent, identity-based storytelling.

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    3. "Can you provide evidence" is about as irritating as "I did my research." No, I will not provide carefully-curated and -considered quantitative evidence for you. I didn't write a dissertation on World War II fandom and fringe rightist psychologies in America. I'll refer you to JSTOR, the secondary literature (which I'd be willing to bet exists!), etc etc.

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    4. I'm not seeing anyone requesting "carefully curated and considered" evidence. More like...do you have ANY evidence...at all, other than merely your personal opinion, which we all have. If not, than that is simply one more opinion, blowing in the wind. Nothing wrong with that, but we shouldn't present it as anything more than merely that.

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    5. I am reading a lot of anger and disagreement over the issue about whether being a "Bob"can be a first step towards being a neo-Nazis.

      No less a figure than President Barack Obama spoke about this in the Op Ed that I link to below. I implore everyone to read what Obama wrote and then seriously think about the thoughts he shared with the public

      https://theonion.com/look-im-just-going-to-say-it-i-collect-antique-nazi-m-1819584809/

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    6. Wonderful Onion article. :)

      The term Nazi needs to be neutered, like black people did with the other "N" word.

      "What up, my Nazi?"

      "Nazi, please...."

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  10. You’ll be happy to know that Bob and friends are still with us. We muster several times each year at various wargaming conventions around the globe. The good news is that the community has grown up and graduated into the full array of adult roles, civilian and military, at all levels including a well-known senior government official. To be sure, I don’t know that he was “Bob,” but I once had a long conversation with his college roommate and all the signs were there, so he was at least Bob-adjacent. The bad news is that the wargame community is getting greyer by the day with barely a trickle of new recruits. Anyway, at our conventions it's not unusual for someone to poke fun at D&D and its community. As a hobbyist with one foot in each camp, I know who else in the room is also a “closet RPGer” so this always makes me chuckle. Now, what about those metal heads? You know, the guys who always wore a black concert T-shirt. In the end, we are all cousins.

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  11. This is excelent. Yes, despite the mainstreaming of the hobby, there is still a high proportion of "Bobs" among the 5e generation. They're probably not in to WWII, and in many ways their life may be easier now as understanding of neurodivergence has improved. Having said that, what I was trying to get at last week, which was interpreted as culture war bait but was not intended to be, is that D&D is no longer just a "weirdo" hobby. I suspect that that makes a lot of "Bobs" that used to feel at home in the hobby feel less so now.

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    1. It might also give some "Bobs" a chance to make new friends. People who might be open to neurodivergent kids.

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  12. I wasn't into wargaming in the mid-'70s but I did by After the Battle (IIRC the name properly) magazine. It was very informative with posters of generals and such.

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  13. Je suis Bob!

    I had a lot of that sort of military geek knowledge for the European land theatre of WW2 and in my teens could've written you out a timeline of most land battles and the genesis of German and Soviet tanks during that period.

    I was in that space before I started D&D and had several hundred Airfix soldiers (1:32). I was the sort of guy who would get very upset if someone tried to set up Japanese infantry against German mountain infantry. Maybe I still am.

    D&D was attractive because it combined reading with numbers, systems and structure (rules) and the ability to create my own things within that framework. My knowledge of the Moldvay Basic and Mentzer Expert was encyclopedic.

    The bit about Bob having to demonstrate he was 'present' resonates. I too had the need when talking to people to share my knowledge, and looking back at it there was a need to make my mark in some way (I'm not talented at sport).

    While WW2 tanks and D&D knowledge isn't needed to make a mark in my life these days, the engineering knowledge for my job is, and I do spend some time outside of my job trying to style aware of developments within my particular sector. Looking a fool has probably my biggest worry in all that time, and being able to demonstrate my knowledge was a way of mitigating thst risk.

    I agree with your hope that Bob has a group to play with and that he's stayed on the straight and narrow. As open as our options have become, we do seem less tolerant of difference and eccentricities, and everything & everyone seems to be categorised. In part that's because computers demand that the data is categorised, but it's really because big corporations want to change us from citizens to consumer units.

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  14. I would agree with the first anonymous post in that nowadays, with the beloved internet, kids like Bob could easily enough get funneled into some negative ideology.
    I saw it happen with a friend of my son. He had a real interest in Soviet weapons, tactics, etc. We played Twilight 2000, so that was understandable enough. But over time his fascination grew into hard right, pro-Putin beliefs, including outright pro-Nazi thinking (one would think the two to be exclusive, Russian vs WWII-era German, but in this mixed-up modern world of politics, maybe not so much…).
    Anyway, I attributed this alarming slide directly to his interactions online. Interactions that began as an interest in the military, but which drew him into a far darker corner of the web.
    We eventually broke ties with the kid, who ended-up joining the US Army as an officer (scary thought, given his beliefs…).
    I guess my point is: it certainly is a different world we live in, and in the case of nerdy gamers like ourselves, there’s plenty out there, a keystroke away, to mold and shape kids in dangerous ways. Back in the ‘80’s, old Bob would have to find a neo-Nazi flier laying around, maybe checkout Mein Kampf from the library, that sort of thing.
    Today? All it takes is connecting with folks online who have “similar” interests.

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    1. Was he a Trump voter? Most MAGAs are closet Nazis

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  15. I was a "Bob", though my interest in WWII was more on the naval/air/Pacific side, and hex & counter games over miniatures. I am also a train nut, and there are hyper-focused "Bobs" there, too.

    Yes, in the '80s it seemed gamers, both war- and RP-, had some need to stick together. It took some effort to want to push away "one of us". Since then, my circles have broadened enough that I do think about who I want to play with anymore.

    I do agree with the commenter that we all seemed to be smart people, but weird in our own ways. I wonder if I was more accepting based on the example of my parents, who were smart, educated, and very "straight", but accepting of the weird at the same time.

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  16. I seem to remember some kids like that. Perhaps it’s a sign of the times, but it often wasn’t about what they were interested in as much as how they behaved about it and their general personalities. For instance, there was one kid named ‘Rod’ who was the one I first saw doing something with D&D. Athletic to a point, he was into fantasy and sci-fi and Hitchcock and military history as much as sports, would often debate the best RPGs with other classmates – and everyone liked him. He was just a good kid. Quiet, but universally liked. Likewise, another kid was (we’ll call him ‘Ralph’), who played basketball and football, boisterous and grating, he wore his varsity jacket to everything, was also into D&D and military history. He was always prattling on about sports and cars and sometimes RPGs, the way Rod did the best WWII tanks or elf garb, and yet he got on most kids’ nerves. It was how they acted and carried themselves as much as their interests or the subjects at hand. I realize today it’s likely different as to what sets people off. But back in the day, that’s what I recall.

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    1. You are right. Charisma — real world charisma, not the stat — often had a lot to do with how D&D and gaming spread thru an area. One or two charming nerds in a group would make all the difference. In both groups of gaming friends I grew up with, there was at least one person who managed to interest and recruit non-gamer normies — punks, jocks, stoners, you name it — to D&D.

      It reminded me a lot of that last episode of Freaks & Geeks, when the lead freak joined the dweebs for an all-night game of D&D, and the lead geek embraced her inner party girl for a night out with the cool kids. Peace at last.

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  17. “Was that everyone's experience back in the day?”

    It was mine. There’s a scene in Dazed and Confused, which tracks my era very closely, in which it becomes obvious that the poker game is attended by stoners, geeks, and athletes. That struck me as very weird. In a film that tracks my high school experience so closely, poker, let along poker crossing boundaries, was completely out of place. But replace that with Dungeons & Dragons, and it fits right in. Perhaps it was different in Texas; or perhaps D&D wasn’t yet mainstream enough for a movie reference. I don’t know. But I always replace that scene with D&D and the movie rolls along perfectly.

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    1. I think Dazed & Confused is set just a little too early for D&D. It's the summer of 1976, and D&D didn't really reach the mass market until the Basic Set came out in 1977. (Boy, talk about your epochal years for nerd culture -- Star Wars and D&D!)

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    2. That’s true. I always forget that my high school years were a few after that. Not much, but just enough for D&D.

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    3. Yeah, D&C was set on May 20th, 1976 or so - and 100% the high school pastime in Austin would have been Texas Hold 'Em. I believe the inventor of that game, Blondie Forbes, was still alive, and would have been a semi-local legend. OD&D had only just launched the white box that year. I know so many differerent things were published in '74 and '75, but that was because niche gamers were providing individual demand, but I don't think, based on the sales data we know, that probably more than 3-to-5 thousand people were playing the game in North America at that time.

      In 1977? Totally different story. Holmes alone sold (as a "prep set" for AD&D) 5,000 units in 1977, before exploding in popularity in 1978, to 15,000.

      But Texas Hold 'Em in Austin in the 1970s would have been as familiar as checkers to high schoolers, and as easy to gather a diverse crowd of players.

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    4. That is an awesome bit of information about Texas Hold ’Em that I was completely unaware of, and it puts that scene in an entirely new light.

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  18. The flip side of that is the unspoken original thesis: modern rpgs and gameplay have become infected with the poison of the age - that your personal identity will be assimilated to masses.

    In other words, Bob found his place at the table in 1980, and though it seems doubtful that this kid was anything more than an annoying WWII buff, if he had been a cryptonazi or not was irrelevant to play. Yes, budding Nazis, anarchists, gays, jocks, Mormons, crypto-Amway salesmen, and even girls were not only welcome to play together...but we did.

    This is because having an identity back then was WAY different than the expectation today to live your entire life and conform to and make personal alliances through the lens of your identity.

    In 1983, you played the game to take on a creative new identity, and to play competitively/cooperatively through that lens, for entertainment. At the table, everyone agreed to buck the Narrative and go an adventure (well, at least until DL1 launched a subversive revolution against that shared ethic).

    Now the Narrative, and finding your place within it, is the object of the Game.

    That's why things are different. In 1983, the people who "didn't fit" found a shared escape with people who were very different from themselves. Today they are encouraged to seek connection with people who share an allied overarching Identity.

    It is the difference between the kids in The Breakfast Club and the dolls in The Barbie Movie.

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  19. I was perceived as being 'different' (perhaps not a 'Bob', but maybe a 'Frank' ?) when I was young (and perhaps still am today). It was not a fun experience then, and it still isn't now. The 'Silver Lining' ? These days, I managed to find a really great group that enjoy and are having fun playing TTRPG's together. No questions asked.

    Perhaps we're all Bob's.

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  20. I think Bob (rightly) gets a lot more grace, for exactly the reasons you describe, than certain people today who _lack_ that cultural context, yet still manage to be deeply interested in specifically the German cultural and military trappings from the years preceding and containing WWII. Like, there's a difference between a wargame hobbyist knowing the specs of _all_ the tanks (including Panzers), and some plutocrat whose interest seems to mostly manifest in a collection of Nazi uniforms and iron crosses.

    Just sayin'. Context is important.

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  21. I'm 58. Back in the 80's there was me and my best friend. We didn't know any other gamers. A couple of other friends gamed, but I went to a different school so we never actually played together. It didn't help there were no game stores in southern Maine - not even in the advertisers index of Dragon. I didn't meet any other gamers until college.

    Did I see myself as odd or different? Not really. I guess we were kind of private about it. The "weird" kids to be were the ones into martial arts; throwing stars and homemade num chucks. They seemed to wear black. The only negative comment I ever heard was from our 8th grade art teacher who being my best friend and I designing a dungeon. She became concerned and said D&D was satanic. We thought that odd as we were both Altar Boys and did't worship demons, we killed them! I didn't know about the Satanic Panic then.

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  22. Things are different today. We are a click away from communities online,
    including this one. Many social media platforms open doorways to further communities with another click. Rather than bringing in a diversity of experiences and interests, social media platforms have the strong tendency to narrow interests with each new doorway. On top of that, playing RPGs online is increasingly common,
    Maybe the norm now. Here again is the easy ability to tailor a group of people to those with similar tastes. I do not like the online RPG experience, but the one group I did play with was careful to curate who and who would not join. We were not hard up for players

    I started playing D&D very young with family in rural America, then expanded to be able to include a few friends in middle and high school. There were no Bobs. I would have happily played D&D with Bob types, but we just never found anyone else. This changed when I went to college, more or less pre-social media and World Wide Web days. We had Bob personality types in our group, but not Bob the German war machine enthusiast. I don’t expect it would have mattered then either.

    Now days, I can’t handle Bob types in my very finite free time. I’m overseas in Africa where gamers who can come together in-person are rare, but I dread running games for the Bob personality types, just can’t do it. I’ll play with them, but not as the DM.

    I’m not bothered by the possibility of links to Hitler’s cause. And I emphasize possibility, because encyclopedic knowledge of WWII Germany’s military does not automatically equate with white supremacy. If someone is an active white supremacist, then I’ll exercise my opinion not to play games with them. So, that said, with Bob personality types, their encyclopedic knowledge and application of RPG game rules drives me nuts. Bob’s lack of social knowledge on knowing when people are not interested in listening to a given set of factual minutiae drives me nuts. I’m socially awkward and challenged that way - just can’t figure out how to effectively communicate with Bobs. I can share space with Bobs, but I can’t manage running a game with Bobs and have fun at the same time. And that is my fault as much as, if not more so, than the Bobs.

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  23. When I was growing up in Australia in the 1980s, I encountered lots of books which emphasised big, colour pictures of Nazi Germany. Ostensibly the reader was supposed to react to them as catalogues of horrors and terrible warnings from history. But if that was the actual purpose, I think they would have had more pictures of the death camps and fewer of colourful rallies. I didn't find Nazi ideas attractive, or even coherent. But the aesthetics and the apparent sense of unity and purpose were attractive to myself, a teenager who didn't quite fit in. 'Bob' might have had a pure, Aspergers-y interest in statistics about tanks, but I doubt that that was all that was going on.

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  24. I find the battles of World War II fascinating.
    I find the politics of World War II tedious.

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  25. Interesting how everyone sees the other side (in their minds) as the gatekeepers, never themselves. Lets them feel like the other side deserves it, of course.

    anyways, James, the two books were the second editon of Playing at the world, by Jon P, and Monsters, Aliens and Holes in the Ground by Stu H.

    there may be more, I am behind in my reading.

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    1. it is interesting to me, btw, how D&D went from a place where weirdos were the norm to a place where weirdos must be driven from it

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    2. oh, and did you read the CoC Keepers tips?

      the first two or three essays seemed to have little to do with any BRP system

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  26. If I'm honest I was probably a bit more like Bob in my youth than I care to admit. That culminated in a 24 year career as a US Army Infantry officer. The world needs Bobs.

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  27. Interesting post. The person I played D&D with the most in my youth was a lot like Bob. His interests were D&D and all things military. He had an incredible knowledge of equipment, gear, uniforms, and battles across a wide range of eras. As you stated about Bob, I think he liked the minutiae. He once called my house and left a message with my mother to be sure to tell me that World at War was airing on PBS that night. She told me I had weird friends.

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  28. Jim Hodges---
    Ha! My Bob was named Darren and his things were WWII and Star Trek.

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  29. As adults, our group had a Bob — real name, no need for aliases as you will see — who fit the profile. He was smart but didn't know when to stop talking, knowledgeable but loud in showing it, generous but lacking in boundaries. Maybe he was that way as a teen, and if so clearly never grew out of it. Maybe he was on the spectrum and couldn't, or just an a-hole who chose not to. It doesn't matter now.

    After decades of gaming and good times, he just became too relentless and the group cut him off. I still feel somewhat bad about that. At one point I heard Bob had moved to Vegas and become a professional poker player. A couple years ago, news broke he died in a shoot-out with a retired cop in the parking lot of a strip mall. The police said it was a road rage incident over a parking space, but a lot of unanswered questions — did they know each other, was this about money, did the cops close the case to protect one of their own? — remain forever out of reach.

    A wild west gunfight over nothing: the most pointless and American of deaths. I wish this Bob had had a happier ending, but sometimes character *is* destiny.

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    1. wait, are you arguing if someone is a bore, he can and should expect to die in a shootout?

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    2. JFC. Countdown to these comments being locked in 3... 2... 1...

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  30. Nerds like this Bob fella were already being made fun of in movies like Revenge of the Nerds or even more closely, Wargames. He was the "Malvin" archetype (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfJJk7i0NTk)

    It's the pedantic, no social awareness, and when it gets bad - insensitive cruelty just to be right about something. This shows up all the time in Nerd Culture. Even more so now with the internet being the impulsive lizard brain toy to judge and scold. Nerd culture is attracted to where it can find "POWER" (where it lacks in normal society) and that is in data hoarding and spitting it back out as a defense mechanism.

    It's why the current state of mainstream nerd culture is obsessed with passive screen media where they want all the story gaps filled in by big corporate story-tellers (Disney garbage, comics, etc). Give me ALL the data. A Faustian deal with the devil for a false sense of Absolute Knowledge.

    I gamed for a few years with a friend who I knew was around the Gencon/RPG scene for a long time before we played. He was this type of person. Constantly ruining games and friendships because of know-it-all syndrome. He was well into his 30's already and still didn't get a clue. Another player from that same group was a hard narcissist that we had to ask not to come back. Both grew up largely isolated on Computers and have jobs in that industry.

    Some people never break free from those behaviors.

    As for the obsession with wars... It's just part of nerd culture in general to be a Data Bot about war. Tons of gamers I grew up with were obsessed with those details. I wasn't. My dad served in Korea and I already could tell he did not find war glorious or something to hero worship. He had PTSD dreams. War is real. And it's very manipulative by those in power.

    Nerds try to find some masculinity missing in their lives with it.


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  31. Unlike Bill, I was so socially awkward that I was excluded from not only role-playing games but society in general. The other kids played D&D I knew, and sometimes talked about it in school, but I was not invited. On the one occasion I approached the table in the hall where the others were playing and was allowed to join, my character was jokingly killed within moments. On the two occasions I was invited to someone's house to play, it was just me and them, lasted a short time before we quit, and I never talked to them again. In high school I was so afraid of being labeled a nerd I refused to go into the school library for four years, let alone indicate to anyone I was interested in RPGs or books. I'm only here, only a gamer, because I managed to find a wife and have a son and when my son turned 13 the two of them agreed to play with me, and here we are still playing weekly after 8 years.

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    1. That’s heartbreaking. I’m glad you eventually found your group of players

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    2. Jesus, dude. That ain't right.

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  32. Criticizing Bob for an interest in WWII makes about as much sense as criticizing someone’s interest in the Kaiser or Napoleon. Time has moved on, and so should we.

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  33. I'm fairly sure the Bob of today would be force fed ADHD medicine until his eyes glazed over, and put on a watch list. The fact that most of society is ok with this goes a long way to explain where we are as a society.

    Playing D&D in the early 80's in Texas was an existential threat if word got around. Having a passion like specific knowledge of WWII tank battles was a good indicator that inviting this kid to the table wasn't going to end with angry members of the local Assembly of God camping outside your house and demanding you burn your satanic copies of Dragon magazine.

    Pre-Columbine, that level of nerdery was just adaptive camouflage.

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  34. I report Bobs to the FBI and the Mossad

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