Monday, July 21, 2025

Kumbaya

As you’ve probably guessed from the kinds of posts I’ve been writing lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how the hobby has changed, not just since I was young, but in more recent years, too.

In my younger days, what bound us together wasn’t ideology or identity or even agreement. It was something much simpler and, I think, more powerful: a shared love of fantasy, science fiction, horror, and roleplaying games. We didn’t always see eye to eye. We didn’t always get along, but we read the same dog-eared books (gaming and otherwise), argued about alignment and racial level limits, and gathered around the same tables to roll dice. That was enough.

We were a ragtag lot, diverse not so much in the narrow, contemporary demographic sense (though that too, to a degree), but in personality, taste, and temperament. There were the older, bearded guys who got their start with Tactics; the teenagers who smelled like patchouli and wore jackets covered in band patches; the metalheads, the comic book obsessives, the Tolkien scholars-in-training, the stoners, the would-be novelists, and that one guy who knew way too much about the Wehrmacht’s order of battle in 1944 and wouldn’t stop bringing it up. Somehow, we all managed to coexist – or at least we played together and that, I think, is its own kind of getting along.

What I find disheartening now is how often that spirit seems absent. There’s a growing impulse, coming from multiple directions, to draw hard lines about what’s acceptable to play, read, like, or even talk about without a disclaimer. I’m not talking about politics, at least not primarily. I mean the way taste itself is increasingly treated as a moral signal. “You still play Empire of the Petal Throne? What’s wrong with you?” Or: “You’re using Mörk Borg? That’s not real old school.” I’ve heard both this year, more than once, along with others, just as silly.

There’s nothing wrong with preferences. No one should be shamed or pressured into liking what they don’t like. That was true in 1982 and it’s true now. Back then, plenty of people I knew scoffed at Arduin or rolled their eyes at RuneQuest. I’m not going to pretend we didn’t argue fiercely about whether, for example, spell slots or spell points were “better.” That kind of good-natured rivalry was part of the fun. Even now, I enjoy lobbing the occasional jab in the direction of certain games or game mechanics. I’m not claiming the moral high ground.

However, I think there’s a difference between ribbing your friend for liking Rolemaster and declaring that certain games, creators, or communities are beyond the pale and that merely engaging with them puts you under suspicion. That’s not rivalry. That’s excommunication. It's coming from all sides. Depending on who's speaking, the OSR is either a toxic boys' club of crypto-fascists or a co-opted safe space for woke poseurs who don’t really “get” old games. Try saying that not every game choice is a political act and that maybe you just like what you like and you’ll find yourself viewed with suspicion by both camps.

It's exhausting and, frankly, it's absurd.

When I was a kid, the fact that someone played Chivalry & Sorcery instead of AD&D might earn a few barbs, but no one was exiled. No one cared whether you thought the best sci-fi RPG was Traveller, Space Opera, or Universe (even though it's obviously Traveller). If you were into Tunnels & Trolls, sure, we might’ve thought you were a little weird, but you were our kind of weird. You were one of us. You knew where the lavatories were on the USS Enterprise. You could quote Monty Python and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy from memory. You subscribed to Dragon and read every page, even the fiction. You liked pretending to be a wizard or a starship captain or a mutant with a laser rifle. That was enough.

I miss that.

I’m not arguing that we all need to agree. We never did and, honestly, that was part of the joy – the clashes, the rivalries, the heated debates about initiative systems and critical hits. There’s a difference in my opinion between spirited disagreement and gatekeeping disguised as virtue. The hobby is big, messy, and contradictory. It always has been; that’s part of what makes it beautiful.

We could all stand to be a little more charitable, a little less quick to sort people into boxes, a little more willing to extend the benefit of the doubt. Curiosity, not conformity, is what brought most of us here in the first place.

When you strip away the noise, we’re all still what we’ve always been – Weirdos.

18 comments:

  1. I started in 1982 and agree with everything you said, including traveller being better.

    What bothers me most is self-censoring. I notice myself doing it now all the time. I am so fearful of backlash, that I stopped offering my opinions and ideas. I am not talking politics, I am talking about games, rules, are orcs bad, all kinds of stuff .

    I watch the vitriol and absurdity and I just shut up, because I fear the backlash.

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    1. It's partisanship-ization, even though as you say it's not literally about politics but more like rooting for your team and forming ego entanglement with certain products/companies. I think "our hobby" stopped being a hobby many decades ago and has been a competitive consumer market, like music or sport or fashion or food, for far longer than anyone is comfortable thinking about.

      Isn't what people here call "the backlash" normal consumer behavior? It's just business. (I'd say "it's all in the game" but it seems a bit precious/on-the-nose.) Maybe we're more special snowflakes than sports fans are, is all.

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  2. I remember that people "...who knew way too much about the Wehrmacht’s order of battle in 1944 and wouldn’t stop bringing it up" dominated the early days of the hobby. They may not be as vocal now, but they are still here. At least in my little corner of the world.

    The thing for me is just how not fun modern RPGs have become. Back int he day, every RPG I tried had a level of enjoyment for me, but AD&D was always my fave. I may not have liked T&T, RQ, or C&S, but I got why people liked them and had fun playing them.

    When I tried 3.5, 4th, and 5th I just did not see how people thought all of that number crunching, min/max, railroads were fun. I know it was just the sessions I tired, but I am still hard-pressed to see how a different set of players can make it better.

    HOWEVER... that is my problem-not theirs or their game. But those people who who know way too much about the Wehrmacht’s order of battle in 1944 and won’t stop bringing it up creep me out now more than ever. I know what they are fantasizing about, and I don't to be a part of it.

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  3. Perhaps it's related to gaming becoming more mainstream.

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  4. We're basically the same age and started gaming at the same time, but you report much more idyllic early days than I can honestly remember.

    Do you entertain the possibility that the difference between "then" and "now" is not changing politics, society, or cultural norms, but that "then" was experienced as a child and "now" as an adult?

    Whole academic careers could be built on the study of nostalgia in 21st century TTRPG production and consumption. Within the larger field of 'Infantilization of Adult Culture Studies', natch.

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    1. I've definitely considered that possibility and that may well be some of it, but I don't think that's the whole story. It's now that people tell me that preferences or willingness to engage with someone/some game they consider "unclean" are a problem, not then. This seems like a new kind of behavior.

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  5. My English is rusty as it never was before, but I want you to know that I appreciated a lot this post and the previous about blogosphere, although I am from a different RPG players generation, because I started playing at the end of 90's.

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  6. People have always rejected others whom they don't like, for whatever reasons. These days people tend to be more reactionary about maverick ideas about what is moral or immoral, and this sort of ideological new-fangled fundamentalist impulse creates a culture of paranoia, stifles expression, and trickles down even to gaming.

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  7. It may have been just how my corner of the world was, but I do uave memories from the 80s and 90s that are way less pleasant about the divides in the gaming comunity, and without even getting into real-life politics or issues.
    Fandoms (of all types) can be very unwelcoming places.

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  8. Well said, James. As weirdos, we were allowed to be weird in our own ways back then that's not always true today. There were the religious-fundie puritans of course, but they were outsiders to the game and so (for me and my group anyway) more easily ignored than today's puritans who are often gamers themselves.

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  9. I think this is mostly just an online vs real world thing. I see debates all the time at the local D&D happy hours I go to, but they’re always rpg equivalents of “who’s the best quarterback of all time”, clearly intended to open up a conversation rather than shut down a person.

    I also think Zero Charisma was kind of prophetic. I’m a little bit too young to have any memories of the golden age, but my recollection as a kid was that the games seemed interesting but the hobby was filled with antisocial types. I don’t know what it was, but something happened in the mid 2000s that attracted hipster (or at least hipster-adjacent) millennials to the hobby. Since D&D culture is largely about finding a group, this was devastating for the antisocial members of the community, and a huge improvement for everyone else. I started playing at the tail end of this, right before Stranger Things came out, and sometimes feel guilty for “gentrifying” a refuse for people who struggle at parties/bars/ect. Should I feel this way?

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    1. To be clear, I dont think the hobby was ever all, or even mostly people with poor social skills. I've met a ton of Gen X and Boomer players through my interest in the OSR. I just think that essentially pushing the most unlikeable members of the community out of game stores and groups and into online spaces is part of what made the hobby more appealing to the mainstream.

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  10. Actually, one of the many things I like about Grognardia is that you've admirably managed to stay above the fray, even when provoked.

    I'd respectfully encourage you to keep on the high road. I've read enough OSR flame wars elsewhere. They're pointless and boring. Please kindly continue to serve as an example and a bastion of the reasonable coexistence you fondly remember.



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    1. Thanks. I try very hard to be evenhanded and pacific. I don't always succeed, of course, but that's my goal.

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  11. That was some well formulated words, and a post with a tone I really can appreciate.

    Then there's that last sentence, and I did *not* see that last word coming! Thanks, that was a good one!

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  12. I've encountered the "people who make that game are bad/evil" thing online, but never in person. OTOH, I game with a regular group of friends, unchanged in years. Maybe I would encounter this attitude in person if I gamed with more people.

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