Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Why Women Don't Play Wargames

Roger E. Moore's article in issue #20 of Polyhedron about "Women in Role Playing" reminded me of this ad that I first saw on Jon Peterson's blog. According to Jon, it first appeared in the June 1977 issue of Fantastic, a Ziff Davis pulp magazine founded by Howard Browne (a protégé of Ray Palmer).

I don't have a lot to say about this particular topic beyond relating to you my own limited experiences. I started playing RPGs in late 1979 with my neighborhood friends and classmates. Not one of them was female, but that's hardly surprising, given my age. I recall encountering a very small number of girls and women who played roleplaying games at the local games days organized by public libraries to which I'd sometimes go. When I went to college in the late '80s, I likewise encountered a handful of women who gamed, but, as in my childhood and teen years, they were unusual. I don't think I started to see female roleplayers in any number until the 1990s, thanks in no small part to White Wolf's World of Darkness games, particularly Vampire: The Masquerade. 

Obviously, girls and women are much less rare in the hobby nowadays than they used to be, though I'd still wager they're a minority overall. For example, my adult daughter has gamed with her friends since high school; most of them are men. I won't make any claims to how representative any of this with the hobby as a whole, of course, but it's all I've got when it comes to this question (which, I'll be honest, isn't something that occupies my thoughts all that much).

22 comments:

  1. I played magic a few eras, and with that, tournaments. in the 60 or tournaments I have played in (mostly small, a few regionals) there was exactly ONE that was not a wife or GF. (she placed second in a mid sized Tourney).

    in rpgs, less so, but only once have I seen men outnumbered by women, something that would have to happen a lot in order to make up the endless male only games sessions.

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  2. I run a bi-weekly D&D game for four 30-something women who had zero experience with rpgs or videogames, and whose only fantasy references were Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Game of Thrones (https://thegloomyforest.blogspot.com/2021/05/my-girls-love-d.html). We started with 5e, but now play a hybrid OSE/Labyrinth Lord game. They were curious about D&D so I offered to run a game session or two during Covid, just to show them what it was all about. They loved it and have stayed with it ever since.

    It has been an awesome experience, not because they were female, but because they had no preconceptions about the game...everything was brand new to them (as opposed to my weekly, all-guys group who are jaded, cynical, and fight me every step of the way).

    Growing up in the 80s, our groups were almost exclusively males, with the exception of the occasional sister who would play a few sessions and then drift off.

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  3. One of my players had a sister (cheerleader) who expressed interest in playing. I didn't take her seriously and have wondered how things might have gone ever sense.

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    1. Cheeleaders are badasses killing demons. Just look at Buffy Summers!

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  4. In the high school were I teach, I had approximately the same number of female and male student interested in the games I run for them sometimes. The big difference is that some girls are really preoccupied because they think they are not playing well enough (I am speaking about the use of skils and powers, no roleplaying). But I think is an insecurity because the boys use to play more, and know better how to maximise their characters. In the end, both play well and it is a lot of fun.

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  5. My uneducated guess is because women find the average gamer repulsive. This also betrays that they generally aren't interested in games for games' sake, just as another venue for tedious social jockeying. Which, in turn, holds little interest for your average honest nerd, so common ground is scarce for both sides.

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    1. For what it's worth: I (male) consider myself very much 'your average honest nerd', and still find the social aspects of playing a TTRPG as least as important as the 'mechanics of playing the game'.

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    2. I suppose the "social aspects" there refers to friendly banter, not underhanded infighting about who's got the hottest nail polish and ousting the unfortunates at the bottom of the pecking order.

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    3. Point taken.
      And besides the banter, also seemingly endless discussions on which Star Wars/Marvel movie/series is the best, and who has got the 'best/prettiest' dice sets.
      ;)

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    4. I don't know, Volja, maybe what they find repulsive about you is your thinly veiled (or even blatant) misogyny? You have assumed that:
      A) women find all gamers repulsive (I can personally tell you you're WAY off there, buddy)
      B) they are looking for "venues for tedious social jockeying"
      C) women engage in "underhanded infighting" over nail polish...

      I can not stress enough, old "honest nerd": it's not Gamers they find repulsive: it's nasty jerks who have huge issues regarding women in general....

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    5. They find you repulsive, Volja, I guess, and every other guy who's words can't help but be mysoginy-laden.

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    6. “underhanded infighting about who's got the hottest nail polish and ousting the unfortunates at the bottom of the pecking order”

      HEY! As a male goth I resent the implications that guys can’t infight about who has the hottest nail polish and oust the unfortunates at the bottom of the pecking order!

      I mean, I’m seeing a bunch of blokes oust *you* right here.

      And, for the record, Sephora’s Urban Decay line is the hottest.

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    7. @Dodger I misread “Sephora” as “Sephiroth”.

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  6. I married my RPG Playing GF;-)
    It is important to increase the ranks of Role players...

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  7. I started playing D&D in 1980. It wasn't until the early 1990s that I ever found myself playing D&D with a girl. To this day, girls playing are the exception. It's mostly boys in my experience.

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  8. In a news item with a seemingly unrelated title [1], Hasbro CEO Chris Cocks notes (about WotC, as part of a larger interview) 'an increasingly diverse player base, which for Magic is now 35% non-male (vs. 45% for D&D)'.

    [1]
    https://icv2.com/articles/news/view/56637/hasbro-ceo-talks-layoffs-pivot-games-ogl-magic-overproduction

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  9. In high school, in the early 80s, I ran a couple of sessions for a small group that was predominantly girls. I think it didn't continue largely because, at that time, in that place, boys and girls didn't hang out in groups together unless they were groups of couples, or larger events like dances or parties.

    Nowadays, pretty much any woman I meet younger than, say, 45, has played D&D (non-D&D players are very rare), or expressed an interest in playing if the subject came up.

    I think the reason women in gaming had a slow start is because:

    1. They didn't get invited.

    2. They got invited by people who turned them off, or to a game that turned them off. Often these were related things.

    Re: #2, I have heard horror stories from women and girls about the way they have been treated by male players and DMs. Creepy innuendos are bad enough, but nobody wants to play in a game where their character is constantly getting sexually assaulted because "that's the way it was back then." One woman told a story about a DM who forced her character to date his DMPC.

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  10. Wry smirk at the subtle pitch for D&D there...

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  11. My friend and I got our wives into RPGs by adapting the play style to them. We kept it heavily story and investigation focused, and cut out stuff like arguing with merchants over shop prices.
    My wife just joined my Call of Cthulhu game after overhearing a session; "I want to play a mystery game!"

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    1. >
      > My wife just joined my Call of Cthulhu game after
      > overhearing a session; "I want to play a mystery game!"
      >
      That's actually quite wonderful; it truly makes my heart sing. Thanks for sharing that.

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    2. She told me it's not very horror-ish. I told her "what about the zombie hand that attacked you?"
      "I just shot it."

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    3. Words can't express how beautiful that sounds.
      But speaking as a HPL reader, but absolutely ignorant CoC player: Did you mention the 'lose your sanity due to the horrors' part yet ?

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